I am not sure where my Dad got that line, when I Google it I don’t find many references but seems to be tied to a proverb of some sort. The gist of it is if you’re always hauling water you don’t have time to do anything else.
Today I was chatting with a friend. She’s doing the work of 3 people (literally, was a team of 3, 2 left). She’s buried, and the company is not acting inclined to reward this hard work. She’s applied for an open position that would give her a promotion and 4 weeks later they’re “still interviewing”… I’ve strongly encouraged her to look elsewhere and she’s inclined to…just as soon as she has time…
This is such a common dilemma in our lives – particularly in our work lives, and it seems to me like it’s worse for women who are often taking care of their work life, their children and general household stuff.
The only way to change this is to decide that you want a different pattern and to carve out time for it. I hate to write this because I know that when you’re doing all you can to run back and forth with those full buckets and not spill any someone saying “you have to do more” is totally overwhelming.
You don’t have to do more. You can actually do less.
Keeping with the water metaphor, if you carried 3/4 of the water and spent the leftover time digging a well it will take a little while, but you will eventually have a well. Or is there something that you are doing that someone else could do for a little while? For example, can you make a deal with someone else in the village that if they carry water for a week, you’ll let them use the well? Said another way – can your partner look after the kids, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry…something, anything….once a day while you update your resume, LinkedIn profile and start resurrecting your network? Live by yourself? Instead of working 55 hours a week, work 45, or 50. Use that “found” time to dig a well. I know that you can’t finish your work if you don’t do the 55/week – but realistically, you’re probably not finishing it anyway, and no one is noticing…or if they do, then they probably really need you and can’t afford to fire you. (Granted, this is when the overflowing work has been for months, not a couple of weeks to get over a hump). If you’re an hourly employee and you need the 55/hours to pay your bills…can you cancel your streaming for a few months so you can cut your hours? I know none of these things are easy to do. They’re all really hard.
The pay off is – make this investment now and in a few months/years (time to dig the well and get water varies for us all based on a ton of variables) it WILL be worth it. Every person who has dug a well will tell you “it was so hard, I had no idea how I’d find the time, the strength, the money… but it has completely changed my life”.
Now – after this whole post of “if your life is not what you need, change it” – I will add a caveat.
Another path is to adapt to the life you have. Going back to my friend, she has another choice other than leaving her current job.
She can start prioritizing the work on her plate and when the priority list adds up to the hours she’s able/willing to work – 45ish is fair to help cover a gap for awhile, some folks have the stamina/personal circumstances to do 50 – anything that won’t fit in that “bucket” doesn’t get done. Period. Something I’ve observed in a +20 year corporate career is not everyone kills themselves to work 60 hour weeks, at least not their whole career. The ones who don’t are efficient, prioritize and SET BOUNDARIES. Companies are not conscious of what your breaking point is. As a matter of fact our bosses and team members trust that we are effectively managing our own personal capacity to NOT break. They’re counting on us to carry the water we signed up for, and if we are carrying more than we can reasonably do long term, it will cause a drought when we collapse and not only can’t carry the extra, but stop carrying our “normal” load too.
So – take a minute and figure out if you’re carrying too much water and if so, come up with a plan to either carve out time to dig a well or set boundaries.
If you need help keeping yourself on track, make a promise to yourself in the comments…I’ll check in and see how it’s going ❤ 🌈
Wisdom of Friends 